I wanted to take a moment today and talk about negative self-talk. It is a topic that creeps up in many women's lives; whether we would like to admit that or not is another story. Lately, I have caught several of my girlfriends using this not-so-nice talk with themselves and I just don't get it. These amazing women, who have so much to offer, beating up on themselves. What's the deal ladies? Don't get me wrong, I, too, have fallen victim to this evil sneak, but here are a few ways to pull yourself out of it when the "negative self-talk" beast rears its ugly head.
1. Be Gentle With Yourself: Going to the little yogi in me... it is important for you to love who you are just the way you are right at this moment. Are there things we can improve, sure, and we can improve on those things gradually, but except yourself for your flaws and also your willingness to improve.
2. When Looking at the Bad, Be Sure to See the Good: Almost every bad habit we have as women started out as a solution to something earlier on. Perhaps we cater to everyone BUT ourselves. Why? Maybe you enjoy taking care of others and letting them know you are there, but in the process you became a doormat. Although the habit is poor, the intention was good. By seeing our habits for what they are, we can gradually work on them and find a balance.
3. So You are Not Good at EVERYTHING: Reality check, no one is. So while you are looking for ways to improve the skills, behaviors, attitudes you would like to improve; also take the time to recognize what you are good at! We all are good at something ladies. Promise.
4. Be Honest: Be honest? Be honest with our family? Be honest with our friends? Be honest with the people we come in contact with? Well, YES, absolutely; but also be honest with YOURSELF. Having a negative self-image is not being honest with yourself. Until you can truly look at yourself and see who YOU are, well, the improvement aspect is hopeless. So get out that journal, and be fair, open, and honest; that is when you will be able to see the real you.
5. Pulling Each Other Down, Just to Get Up: Lastly, stop the comparing, the tactics, manipulation, and the sweet talk. You may think you are doing your friends a favor with the sweet words (that you don't mean), or perhaps you think you can get to the top of the bunch by constantly competing (you both like fashion, who can be prettier, have more clothes, and walk a runway better), but the answer is YOU ARE WRONG. Instead, be honest with those closest to you. Uplift them, encourage them, but also don't be afraid to share your honest words... Both the good and the bad.
So, negative self talk? Get rid of it. In order to find your authentic self you must be real. Not overly harsh, not overly optimistic; just real. Cheer up buttercup, work on what you need to work on, but don't let the "negative self-talk" monster get the best of you!
Your Women's Lifestyle Coach & Owner of Little Bits Lifestyle Products
P.S. I would love to hear your thoughts on Negative Self Talk. :)