Talking with several of my girlfriends lately, there is one common thread that keeps emerging regarding the friends we keep as ladies; they are ever changing aside from our select few who have been with us through thick and thin. Why is that? Why are we constantly changing who we spend time with? At what age do you realize you will be forever friends with certain individuals and decide you no longer connect with others? Is this feeling mutual or does it leave some people feeling abandoned?
It’s a funny thing, friendship. We create friendships for various reasons and each one is unique to the individuals involved. Some friends we have to have those “deep heart to hearts” with, others for adventure, others for all things feminine, crafty, and traditional, and still others for holding us accountable to the Christian faith.
But why do we select the friends we do? And how do they fade over time? Do some stick around to become those lifelong friendships?
We create the friendships we do based on our need at particular times in our lives, but as we grow mentally and spiritually within life; as we create families, build our value systems, and reformat what is important, we all choose different routes. Those that have similar values and lifestyles will grow together, but others may branch off in other directions. And that is OK ladies.
As we grow older I believe the friendships we form will become longer lasting, stronger, and deeper friendships. Why? Because our values, our schedules, our families, ourselves are more clearly defined. We have changed the things we didn’t necessarily like about ourselves, we have added things we love, and we are better able to communicate our limits as well as what we can offer to our friends.
I am lucky to have a wide range of friends when it comes to age and guess what I found… Many of the older women I look up to today didn’t have “lifelong” friends until their 40s! I can see why, based on what I stated above, but I want to throw a challenge out there to the ladies like me still in their 20’s and 30’s. I’d argue we have a pretty good idea of who we are, what we hold to be valuable (husbands, kids, jobs, faith, etc.) so why not form these lifelong friendships now?? Why can’t we treat those select few we cherish so much with the respect, the time, and the love they deserve?
It is important to reflect on the friendships we have. Which ones do we truly cherish? The ones that match up and grow us in the direction that parallels what we hold to be important in our lives. And which ones may we need to grow apart from? The ones that no longer match who we are as mature women.
Good friendships, those lifelong friendships don’t come by all too often, so when you find one hold onto it and provide it with the love, attention, and time it deserves. You will be thankful you did!
Your Women's Lifestyle Coach & Owner of Little Bits Lifestyle Products